Monday, October 31, 2005

One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place. - Emily Dickinson

It's Halloween! I have always liked October 31. I guess it gets less fun as I get older, but I still manage to get in the spirit. This year I have been enjoying my Halloween decorations and am glad I got them all out. I went to my parents' to see the trick or treaters, since I was not likely to get (m)any at my apartment. The costumes were pretty ho-hum and standard, but I loved this little toddler boy dressed up as Mickey Mouse. He was just the most adorable thing - and he was standing there in the big furry suit and yellow Mickey shoes and everything. My mom said he almost fell forward when she opened the door, because she opened it before his dad rang the doorbell. After we gave him candy, he didn't seem to want to leave the porch. Towards the end we had some teens trick or treat without costumes and we gave them candy as peace offerings to prevent egging or worse. Well this has been a long day and midnight is upon me, so I am going to tuck myself in now. I just didn't want to go any longer without blogging - I fell out of the habit and need to get back into it!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you. - Roger Ebert

Fall is not a good time emotionally for me. When I look back, a lot of bad things have happened to me in the fall. Maybe I have some seasonal affective disorder component to my bipolar disorder. Most people with S.A.D. tend to be struck in late fall or winter but for me early fall is the trigger. I guess I get hit by the changes in sunlight patterns early. Don't get me wrong - winter is an awfully depressing time and I am dreading it. But I am trying to maintain an even keel through this fall by keeping my spending in check (that has been a struggle lately), getting more sleep (also not happening), and doing whatever possible to stay on top of things and keep my emotions stable.

Actually today was not a bad day for me, but I am frustrated by my tendency to oversleep in the morning and be late for work - that is not good as it is review time. Every day I tell myself I will get up on time but it is such a struggle for me to wake up in the morning. I think the after effects of my medications (which I take at bedtime) keep me asleep since I haven't allowed enough time (8 hours) for sleep and for them to wear off. I think I will start taking my medicines earlier in the evening and getting to bed earlier. Today I went shopping at the scrapbook store and spent too much money... I have to stop that. Bills are tight with my new car payment.

Onto better news - mom and I saw a great movie yesterday, Pearl Diver, which was part of the Heartland Film Festival. It was about a woman who lives in Chicago going back to live in rural Amish Indiana after her sister's family experiences a farm accident involving their daughter. Memories of their mom's violent murder when the girls were young are stirred up upon her return. It had a little bit of mystery and a lot of heart. I loved the movie. Mom bought me a new pair of shoes for work and for fall from Naturalizer, which is good, because I only had 3 pairs of shoes I wear to work on a regular basis. I love Naturalizer shoes - they are so comfortable and they fit my narrow foot. On Fridays I do get by with wearing my tennis shoes.

I did hear back from Brad. :-) We talked on the phone a couple times during the week (he called me first) and emailed a couple times. He asked me to come over Saturday night since he was on call for work and couldn't go out. I don't know... He seems a little too "smooth" and I am still afraid he is too good looking for me. I don't see that we would be a long-term couple at this point. But I am willing to just kind of go with the flow for a bit. I am not going to let myself get attached emotionally at all until I see where this could go, if anywhere.

Friday, October 14, 2005

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal. - John Waters

Yes, I am 4 days behind on my Columbus Day quote. But it was just too good not to use, and I would never remember to use it if I saved it until next year. Yes, Columbus Day. It came and went without barely a thought, as I plodded through my work day. It did make for lighter traffic on the commute, and for that I thank you, Christopher Columbus. This week at work just dragged. I had a full day and a second 2.5-hour day of training on the new HR migration that everyone went through. We got to learn how we are getting screwed by going to our parent company's benefits and HR system instead of ours. Well that's not how they packaged the delivery, but that was my take-home message. Also, tons of reports are flooding in, so me being caught up at work is ending in a hurry. On the plus side, I am loving this Indian summer we have had so far this fall! It got up into the 70s again today. Woo hoo!

Mom and I went to Zionsville tonight for the Ghost Walk. This was the first time we have been to one. It was fun. We started at their little museum and walked to 10 stops along the residential part of old town Z-ville, where "ghosts" would talk about / re-enact historical bits and legends from the town's history. The skits were based on actual events or people's accounts. Yay for Halloween events!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull. - Oprah Winfrey

I am getting really tired, but I thought I should post an entry so I can develop a blogging habit. Tonight I had a first date with Brad from the speed pre-dating event I went to in September. We had exchanged a few emails and talked on the phone, but hadn't gotten together yet. He had been on a cruise for a week. He's very handsome, which I found intimidating. I was too nervous tonight. He was also funny, which didn't come across until tonight. I kind of feel like I might not get a second date though. He didn't mention wanting to go out again, or calling or anything. Grr, I do not like dating! I just want to meet the right one and have a meaningful relationship... I am wondering if this will ever happen again. Anyway, I had a good time but I don't know that I will hear from him again. We'll see.

Today I finished my fall decorating - hooray! I have a little bit of cleaning to do and hope I can somehow devote an hour to it before my mom comes over tomorrow. That will be hard because I will want to sleep until the last possible moment before she arrives. The kitchen needs cleaned, the table needs cleared of papers and junk, and the carpet needs vacuumed still. I am happy I spent 3 hours working on decorating/getting my apartment in order today!

Last night I was at Megan's for Shannon and Tony's wedding shower/Halloween party. It was bizarre, fun, hilarious, and the entertainment value was very high. When they unwrapped a silver metal bread box, Dave (her boss) remarked, "Oh a chamber for stem cell research!" and Jen said she could put her cat in there when it misbehaved (it has little air holes.) I got them a Buddha candleholder with tealights that was on their registry. Too funny. It was a great party. Jen's turkey chili was out of this world delicious! There are pictures of her and Eric's and Brian and Liz's houses in INtake magazine this week, as part of the neighborhood revitalization cover story.

A note on today's quote: I couldn't find anything that really fit this entry, so I went with a quote I liked, that could apply to almost any one of my days!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

How disappointment tracks the steps of hope - Letitia Landon

Goodness. Usually I have to go searching for a quote to fit my day/blog entry, but this one just leaped out and found me. In fact this quote pretty much fits my whole life and not just my day. It applies to date #2 (see September 29 for date #1 details) with Eric tonight. To tell you how much I was looking forward to this date: I went out with him even though he was sick with a cold. I hate being around germs, and will avoid my best friends and family when they are contagious! When I got home, I popped vitamin C like there was no tomorrow. You can bet if I end up sick, you will be hearing about it. So the cold actually has nothing to do with my mood - there was no contact whatsoever. (In fact maybe he's not into me, so I won't have to agonize over whether to attempt a third date or end it with him, etc. At the end of the night he did not mention when we would get together again, like he did last time.) We just weren't clicking or connecting as much as we did before, and I was steamed that after he added dinner onto the date (I suggested the movie), he ordered dessert for himself, then expected me to pay the tab! You got it- I got stuck with over 2/3 of the date expenses (he bought the movie tickets). Eric is just one in a long line of cheap guys I have dated. I hate dating. I think I am going to swear it off. I am going to hibernate this winter, work out, get lean, and maybe try this over again in the spring. This year's dating run (April - October) sucked.

The best thing that happened today is that I saw the mayor in person for the first time. Bart Peterson came to work to meet with the bigwigs, then gave a Q&A session for whoever was interested in attending. He was tall, friendly, and very politician-like.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you - Carl Sandburg

The last 4 days have been a blur, a whirlwind of activity. Today's quotation is very appropriate for my life - I have a bad habit of letting others dictate how my time is spent. On weekdays, although I am ultimately responsible for how I spend my 40 hours at work, my bosses and workload pretty much determine how I spend the hours. On the weekends, my mom is notorious for booking up my time if I don't have something already planned.

It was a busy and fun weekend. I saw Flightplan with Megan and Kris Friday night and we went to Sahms afterwards for a drink (Blue Moon, which I finally realized is actually orange) and shrimp cigars - a tasty little corn-dog shaped fried appetizer concoction. (The waiter brought us chicken cigars by mistake so Megan requested he bring out the shrimp ones.) Flightplan was actually very good. It was #1 at the box office this weekend, and I must say the plot was more engaging than the other scary plane movie I saw this year, Red Eye. The theater was crowded with teenagers, many of them girls dressed like miniature hookers, and a stern sheriff came in before the movie started to warn them to be quiet as adult moviegoers were there to enjoy the show as well. Very odd -- but it worked.

On Saturday mom and I went to the Christmas in October craft show at Hamilton Southeastern HS - our first craft show of the season! It was a nice show, with lots of vendors, large but smaller in scope than the Lawrence Central show, and perhaps even more enjoyable since it was less overwhelming in size. Afterwards we checked out the small Potter's Covered Bridge Festival in Noblesville and stopped at the Apple Store at Conner Prairie where mom bought some cider. The covered bridge is 135 years old and very nicely restored. I took some photos that I am excited to see how they develop.

Sunday I was supposed to clean and put out my fall decorations, but got virtually nowhere on that. I got the boxes of my decorations out from storage and still they sit silently, begging me to unpack them. Today had all the ingredients for a bad Monday but didn't turn out too bad: 2 doctor's appointments, an unpleasant meeting at work and additional work I wasn't anticipating, the first day without my indexing buddies since they were laid off (it was like a ghost town), my car payment to take care of, and a load of laundry to do. Thank goodness for CSI Miami to end the day well - I am really enjoying that show more than ever.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good plays, good company, good conversation -- what are they? They are the happiest people in the world. – William Lyon Phelps

Tonight I had good company and good conversation with someone who likes good books. I met Eric for a first date at Asaka. He likes sushi, cats (he has six of them!), and books so we have a lot in common. He is a manager at Borders and talked a lot about his job. I had several kinds of sashimi. It was so good to go out for sushi with someone who loves it as much as me. It sounds like he likes a lot of different types of food, which is good. His schedule is pretty crazy since he puts in up to 60 hours a week, but he mentioned getting together next Thursday. There is a slight possibility we might do something Tuesday, since he works until 8:00, if he’s not too tired to meet up after work. He is tall and friendly, and more talkative than me.

Fall is definitely here. It’s 47 degrees right now and I had to wear a sweater and turn on the heat for the first time ever in my car. The heat works great and intensifies the new car smell! I also stopped at Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte to cement the cozy feelings of a good evening and the fall season.